Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
