Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
