I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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