Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
