hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
