i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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