My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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