I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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