erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
