Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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