You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
