i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
