he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
