dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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