How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
