Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize