This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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