This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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