If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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