Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We got so high we made milksteak
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
