____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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