The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need to sanitize my soul.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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