So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
