the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
