if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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