you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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