i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
