I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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