a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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