Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
