Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
