I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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