Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize