i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
