She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
