U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
