The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize