so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize