yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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