You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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