I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
