so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize