Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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