I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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