I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
