just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
