Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize