Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize