So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize