One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
