to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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