That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
