I hate your face
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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