so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize