Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
