THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
