just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
