ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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