Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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