You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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