I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
