it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
