I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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