Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
