We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"