wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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